hmmm...

I started to write this blog a couple of times this week but, time itself is a scarcity- this week has been hectic, and last night i did not sleep at all. (actually i was guarding three cars, including mine, and a friends house from being tagged by "friends of ours" -paint ball guns are great for really scaring boys in the middle of the night) Then i sat down earlier tonight to do it and i realized something: I used the word "I" in refrence to myself about 10 times in one paragraph. Truly it made me sick. The movie the Princess Diaries has a little speach in it in which the main character talkes about how so many people just think about themselves all the time. That is me- and i'm tired of it. So i tried to rewrite my blog but then i found that the them was the same (it was all about me) but i was just trying really hard to reword everything so that i wouldnt sound so stuck on myself. It just ended up sounding awkward and forced. So now here i am still using "I" and still talking about myself. Which brings me to my center of the universe theory. I spent time observing people this week and listined to them talk and watched them interact. (we are not so different from ants. We all follow in nice little lines, and tend to bight anyone who messes up our structure) In my observation, though, i realized that most people are the center of their own universe. My main struggle in life is whom do i serve- myself or God? Today it was myself, and tomorrow being Sunday it will appear that i am serving God. But am i? My heart is so very often out of place. This televangelist was yelling at me this afternoon talking about how i could get so much closer to God's will, and know his thoughts better "if only i would follow Jesus and fast" (imagine his voice, the deep southern vibrato bellowing with conviction) I laughed and then myself was convicted. To make an already long and rambeling blog shorter- I am going to fast. Not from food though, but from the other lifeline in my life: music. WOAH right. If you know me you know that music is what i live for. But this next week with the exeption of church tomorrow morning, NO MUSIC. maybe it will give me a better grip on who is the center of everyones universe (especially mine). I will let yall know how it goes.
ps- i do not regularly listen to tv preachers cause i have problems with a lot of them- but it was odd, i walked into the room and he was just on.