Broken Glass and Unconditional Love

Over thanksgiving break my mom dropped one of our crystal salad bowls. It shattered into about a million-zillion little peices. And I couldnt help (after my heart calmed down cause the crash nearly sent me through the roof) couldnt help smiling to myself. Every time I break something glass, or I see someone break glass- I am reminded of a defining expierence in my childhood.

I was seven. And to that point I was a proper little girl who had the fear of holy mannerlyness steel driven into her very soul by her mothers seering glares. Haha no not really- My mom was very intent that we (my siblings and I) learned and exibited proper manners at all times when we were guests or in public, but she never demanded perfection or got livid when we slipped. We were kids! I was a kid- again I was seven. But I didn't know that. As far as I was concerned I was every bit the maturity of a 15 year old, and held myself to a standard of perfection while in public- or guesthood. (is that a word? ...guesthood?)

Anyway- my family had been staying with my aunt Donna's family for a week or so on our summer vacation. We were all in varying stages of breakfast when I dropped my nearly full big GLASS of milk. It shattered on their tile floor- and I was knee shakingly mortified. I just broke one of aunt donna's good glasses. They hadnt given me a plastic cup that morning- and oh how i wished they had. Mom had just gotten done telling me to be careful, and dad was just giving me that look: "well then Tracy, it wouldnt have happened if..." Oh who cared what I could have done different. It was done. The glass was broken. So was my heart. Aunt Donna came over quickly with a cloth for the milk- Dad grabbed the big pieces. Mom sopped the table. And I stood there in shock with tears welling in my eyes.

"Im sorry" with a choke and a halfe sob- its all I could say

"Why in the world are you crying?" Aunt Donna asked in the way only she could...

"I just broke one of your glasses!" Duh! aunt donna I just ended the beautiful breakfast and "probably broke one of the glasses from your best set". _

(like they would give a seven year old a good glass... but remember i was 15 in my mind)

Aunt Donna laughed (again you just had to know her) She could warm your soul with a laugh or a smile- there was something so tender in her eyes, and in her voice- she really let you know that she loved you. And you knew. She never had to say it. But she did :) she kissed me on my head, gave me a great big hug and said;

"Tracy, I want to show you something." she walked me around the counter to the cabnet where they kept the glasses. She opeaned it up. "Look at that and tell me what you see"

There before me was a whole cabnet full of glasses of all shapes, sizes, and colors. And honestly I cant remember if i said anythign- if i did it wasnt much more than "Cups and glasses" I was still crying inside.

"There arnt two glasses in there that are alike. (again she laughed, cause honestly it was funny) At one time they were part of a set- but over the years my children have broken many of them- and I have probably broken more than they did. But I still love them. And I still love you. No matter what you do, I will always love you"

She hugged me again and I held on. I remember that because I was crying all over again, not in shame, but because of her reaction to my disaster. She loved me- despite my broken glass. Oh how I miss her now. She has gone on to be with the Lord. But I will never forget her, or this story. (cause I am still always breaking glass.)