Woo! ___ is relative

I have been nowhere. And everywhere. And yet still here- in nowhere Florida. Well not really nowhere (that would be where my cousin's live ...haha) The last couple of weeks have prooved my theories on life. It is wow! and made to be lived- hurting and broken, joyful and steady. Like a process. I have deffinately been strung through the prosessor latley. But you know God is good- and I am still here typing with a prupose. Somewhat older feeling than I have been. That may be because I am tired, but more likley because I am stronger for the tests. Might say back on my knees and humbled.
I watched a friend fall. She doesnt even know what she is getting into. She came out of a lifestyle of pain- and now because God didnt work- is going back into it for the pleasures of the moment- desperately trying to ease the heartache of lonleyness. Which "God didnt fill" I could question why but there really is no point. Why's go on all day and the only thing I can come up with is that we fail God- not the other way around. This is killing me though. I know where she is, why she is doing it, and what it will do to her. I know because I have been there too. But she wont hear me; though I love her my love cant save her. She knows what she is doing- its her choice.
My mom is increasingly a stressor. We dont fight really- but we are both strong willed women, and there are only enough people in my home for one of us to boss around. :) Truly we see eye to eye, but have different opinions on almost everything. This makes for staggered mealtimes and much avoidance of conversations outside work (alas we do work together) and family. Time is coming soon when I will be gone, and my sister who is only 14 is having a rough time with that.
Perhaps one of the hardest tests latley has been submiting to the authority of the leaders in my church. Especially the leadership of the head pastor. Freedoms are strained for power struggles and number games. (ie: when how many people attend the church becomes more important than the spiritual depth) It is sad to me that the church is so corrupt. But then so am I- and the church is only a "body of believers" (to use a churchy term... blah!)and we as people, are corrupt.
My point tonight: (ah there is one!) We are doomed to a broken life. We are fallen creatures- we do wrong. This is a truth no matter if you are agnostic, atheist, hindu, whatever- humans hurt everyone and everything around them. The only option we have in this is to accept and practice grace- and recieve a joy that is unexplainable; Choose to hope, a dangerous endevor that in the end leaves us with a life lived with an expectant purpose- somewhat fulfilled. OR we can get cynnical as life breaks us further until we die- rich or poor having nothing but our expierences to weigh and our sense of fulfillment to wish upon.
Hmm that was minutely depressing. I promis to be funny next time.