Process...

In the .4 seconds that i have- I am going to process a bit of this week- forgive the add, it will probably come out. But we are almost done with our second week of programming- after this only 5 more weeks here- and 4 with groups. I am tired at the thought of that- and energized- and very sad! I dont want to leave. Seems crazy i want home and friends and family so much, and at the same time im frusterated because i feel like i havent gotten to know anyone in the community really well. GRRR. I want to just go and start talking- there is one family here that we have spent time with and will spend more time with. They are going to take our staff up on Heart Butte mountian- to see the Chiefs. (its a long story but heart butte is a very sprirtual place) Anyway, so i am not sure how to better put myself out there exept to just get the heck out of this schoolbuilding!

One thing that makes it tough is that often i feel intrusive on their culture and community.

Which in a way we are... in a way we are here to help and share Christ... but how effective is a three month stent in a place where all we do is what we can??? Is that really all we are called to do? ...who is this "we"

"Working with us" Thats what Jo's family says. And i love it :) (Jo is the one who is going to take us up on the mountian) "We honor you because you give up a summer to come and work with us..."

And i feel like crap when they say we give up anything. I have had everything to gain!!! A beautiful understanding of God (that i would never have even come close to at home) Personal growth beyond my wildest dreams- A short time in some amazingly breathtaking country! Dude! i gave up nothing compared to the blessing it has already been to be here! And i wonder if i will be redy to come home.

homesick

so the youth that are here are totally amazing- and being with and around them has brought me so much joy- almost selfishly i would love to see, with my own eyes, the work that God is doing in their hearts. And then i dont always- but i give all i have, and hope God takes it and runns with it! In fact i know he does- he has this strange habbit of salvaging every mess i make here- like last night. It was just pathetic on my part- my meal, a cookout, and i forgot probably 5 main things! Blah- but there ended up being plenty, and everyone had a wonderful time, and God used it- in spite of me, used me in spite of myself. Our God is big. ...:)

this is how i am- conflicted, frusterated, and excited all at the same time...TIRED. And now i get to ride down into town and paint. I love the bike rides- this country is amazing. Just sucks getting back up the hill.

That wasnt really about this week but im out of time. Peace