Selah

I dont know if you are farmiliar with the word "Selah". It is used in psalms a lot. It means to take a reflective moment- a calm deep pause.

Its 8:15PM here- i have been packing, hauling, ripping down, bleaching, and pushing down tears all day. I got a letter from daddy and nearly lost it. Got a letter from my buddy Joseph (one of our kids here) and broke down.

So i took a break from cleaning and took a long glorious hot shower.

Then i walked out on our clean gym floor and layed down in the middle of it. And just was- this overwelming sence of deep calm. A peace i have never felt before- that moment was perfect. I was clean, the summer was a success, we are going home soon, and i am in one of the places i love the best- a gym.

Everything in Montana is big- the sky, the bears, the mountians, the trucks... It wont be strainge to be home, it will be strainge not being here. With the smells and crisp air... the family- so much of the time it has been a love-hate relationship with the other staff. But now faced with leaving them i realize how much of an impact each one has had on my life.

we watched the kids pull out in the vans yesterday- going home from our last Kids Club. Jess lost it- Josh and I kept it all back and down so that we could help lead the groups for the rest of the evening. Got done with club last night- i might have made it 5 steps out of site of club room and the three of us just sat down and wept.

This morning we waved off our final group- we all just sat down and stared.

Now we are cleaning- which is what i am returning to shortly. And we have kids running around the school playing with us. (they live close by) And we wouldnt dream of sending them away-

My time here was more presious than i realized.