This evening I had the wonderful opportunity to walk around the downtown historic area of the nearest city to where I live. About 10:00 the clubs start up and the theaters let out, and people are everywhere. I am definitely a people watcher and have found one thing to be true- that many sane upstanding and decent individuals that are thrown together in a crowd become instantly stupid. Drunk and loud and braver because they have drunk and loud buddies to back them up. The stupid incident that I was fortunate enough to witness (while on an otherwise dull date) was that of some college guys and highschool girls lining up for a club, and throwing spitwads and other unidentified trash at the uber ultra super conservative Christians across the street. Now these Christians- were not entirely minding their own business- they were exercising their rights to freedom of speech- and happened to be screaming at the people in the club "The Lord judges, and the unriteous will be cast down into the bottomless pits of hell"
Truly if it were me that they were screaming at I might have to say something- The stupid mob to which I am referring is not the one throwing nastiness across the road- it is the group throwing bad evangelism and judgment across the street. Think about if I walked up to you and just yelled that you were a sinner what would your reaction be? I was truly annoyed. But you know I didn't think of this until we had left but the best place for those people so very concerned with the souls of sinners would be the student centers of all of the universities at about 10:45 in the morning. You will easily spot the kids who are still drunk from the night before- grabbing the capuchino in a desperate attempt to stay awake for their finals that they didn't study for because they were up all night trying to convince their girlfriends that that other girl at the party meant nothing. If you want to reach people- talk to them then, they know the only one who could help them is God. And he will... ohwell- at least I got a super large sonic limeade out of the date right?

Silence is soothing

This whole no music thing is harder than i thought it would be. And i wanted to clarify a couple of things that i didnt say last time. Fasting is sacred. Fasting in this case and in most cases is a physical self denial in order to remove distraction and focus more on your relationship with God. It shouldnt just be some thing that i do. Truth is i have wanted to do a music fast for a while, but actually carrying it out just seemed to get pushed back on my agenda. (besides i drive a lot and really like to rock out while in transit) And silence... is a beautiful and terrifying thing. The past three days while driving- its calm, but without the noise i can actually hear my own thoughts. Prayer is so stinkin incredibal- i find i get bored with no music, but then conversation with God fills not only my time- but my heart too.

Enough with the spiritual stuf- here is something to ponder (hehe i like that word... ponder... say it a few times out loud and think about how strainge our language is)
many people say that they hate the dentist. personally i dislike everything about the dentist visit- but did you know that dentists have the highest suicide rate of anyone in the medical profession? and why not- noone likes to go and see them. Perhaps we should all try a little harder to appriceate our dentists, cause as wierd as it is that they chose to stick their hands in mouths for a living- they need a pat on the back too

hmmm...

I started to write this blog a couple of times this week but, time itself is a scarcity- this week has been hectic, and last night i did not sleep at all. (actually i was guarding three cars, including mine, and a friends house from being tagged by "friends of ours" -paint ball guns are great for really scaring boys in the middle of the night) Then i sat down earlier tonight to do it and i realized something: I used the word "I" in refrence to myself about 10 times in one paragraph. Truly it made me sick. The movie the Princess Diaries has a little speach in it in which the main character talkes about how so many people just think about themselves all the time. That is me- and i'm tired of it. So i tried to rewrite my blog but then i found that the them was the same (it was all about me) but i was just trying really hard to reword everything so that i wouldnt sound so stuck on myself. It just ended up sounding awkward and forced. So now here i am still using "I" and still talking about myself. Which brings me to my center of the universe theory. I spent time observing people this week and listined to them talk and watched them interact. (we are not so different from ants. We all follow in nice little lines, and tend to bight anyone who messes up our structure) In my observation, though, i realized that most people are the center of their own universe. My main struggle in life is whom do i serve- myself or God? Today it was myself, and tomorrow being Sunday it will appear that i am serving God. But am i? My heart is so very often out of place. This televangelist was yelling at me this afternoon talking about how i could get so much closer to God's will, and know his thoughts better "if only i would follow Jesus and fast" (imagine his voice, the deep southern vibrato bellowing with conviction) I laughed and then myself was convicted. To make an already long and rambeling blog shorter- I am going to fast. Not from food though, but from the other lifeline in my life: music. WOAH right. If you know me you know that music is what i live for. But this next week with the exeption of church tomorrow morning, NO MUSIC. maybe it will give me a better grip on who is the center of everyones universe (especially mine). I will let yall know how it goes.
ps- i do not regularly listen to tv preachers cause i have problems with a lot of them- but it was odd, i walked into the room and he was just on.

I just got home today from a senior trip of sorts, where i stayed with my cousins down near Tampa, Florida- we had a blast! (or at least i did) But this blog is being created primarially so that i can harass the husband of my cousin Diana (whom i love ever so dearly) He writes good stuff, and probably, beside Diana will be the only person to ever read this. Oh well se la vi (i know thats spelled wrong but i took spanish, not french, so get off me!) And now to my point...there isnt one. Im just yelling in the mic to make sure it works. Testing one two three...