GO FIGURE!!!

Ok i was not going to blog tonight- and forgive my ranting, but this makes me furious to the point that, really i doubt my own grammer.

But i must calm myself and think rationally- and deliver this rationally.

I have a very good friend who just returned to New Orleans' West Bank. His immediate city is a bit like a war zone, and to quote him "McDonalds isnt even open yet, but all four of the drive through daiquiri shops are up and running...o and there is no pepsi anywhere. But on the good side we do have power and water."- (and apparently a brewery)

He works in a casino/ club/ bar that his parents own. They opend right after the storm and have been rakeing in money. But not on drinks- no the casino alone has been pulling in 60k a night. And from who? Well the stack of FEMA checks that my friend saw cashed should tell you.

Anyone who can rub two brain cells together knows you dont take a casino- The house always wins. And quite fraknly when you dont have a house of your own, the $2000 dollar fima checks might come in handy for something like food. Just a thought.

wait what?

For an update on the dreads: things are going well and they are lirning how to grow. Maybe one day they will be low matenience but for now they are almost more work than they are worth...almost- but most people like them, and the rest have at least been civil about it (exept one of my aunts and that uncle- who both express to me daily their dislike) oh well, on to more important things.

Like stress level- it is shooting throuhg the roof anywhere along the gulf coast- and i swear if the "H" word is said in my presence one more time i will rip 'em an new one. And a few days ago everyone was getting redy to panic- until the whole community decided that they couldnt afford to just get sick with worry. Nobody paniced for gas, no one bought out all the batteries- and no one boarded up. (given it did help that the projected path came no where near where we live) but still I guess life is just sometimes hard.

Well that was a dumb comment - life IS hard. But i cant help but think how luckey we are to have the things we do here in America. We are so filthy rich and have discusting attitudes about it. While the people in third world countries have nothing- and yet have some of the most powerful religious movements known to mankind.

That says something to me- that our lack of desperation- physically and spiritually leaves us apathetic and bord. When you have what you need- or have a way of being helped even when things get heartwrinchingly tight(ie homless shelters, government, and family)you loose the need to depend on something (like God) to get ya through.

Not saying this applies to everyone- and certainly right now there are thousands of homeless people compleetly desperate in this country! But where will they go? Moreover, what faith is keeping them going? I would present to you for debate (or maybe just food for thought) what is it inside a man or woman that makes them need to survive- what supernatural force drives them to want contentment- what causes us to need to worship something- anything- (our money or our sun) why do we stress> is there something that we know is wrong, something that we know we are missing?



..."Do you think thats air your breathing?"

Not Suprisingly Suprising

In a moment of randomocity this evening i did a yahoo image search. Now i occationally make things for people and use pictures i find online as inspiration, but this time just wanted to see what popped up. "Death" brings up all sorts of morbid and hideous pictures of just that! DEATH. its dead. Rotting, and sickining, the anti-life. It is also absolutely concrete! Cant be chainged, reversed or re...anything. Cause its done.

While life is just as concrete a subject, the images i got from the search brought me no joy, or laughter, or hope for things living (as you might expect to find in the opposite of death) It seemd just a bit better than death. There was a picture of a tree (quite distorted and uncomfortable, a picture of a lion humping a lioness (and she didnt seem happy about it), there was also (and this is my faverote)a picture of DEATH!!!

Given- the concept of death is much easier to capture on film- i was still wishing that there might be a more hopeful and uplifting image for those crazy people like me who just saw something morbid and wanted to forget the image by replacing it with something new.

Ah! NEW! maybe thats it- "Life" is not "NEW" to anyone who is taking the pictures- in fact, in this culture, life is something we portray ourselves as struggiling through. But why- why fight life, why fight even death cause we have all heard death is only a part of life. So... that means life even has dominion over death. (And God has power over both!- whether you believe in that or not)Too bad no one can take a better picture of it- but again thats cause life manifests itself in so many more ways than death.

Life is living! You breathe, breathe in deep! You feel, feel love, feel passion, feel the papercut- i dont care! just feel something, dont numb out... please

Go day to day. And hey if you are alive take a picture of a child's smile. Capture young life. One of an elderly man reading in the park. Take a picture of a mother weeping. Take a picture of lovers kissing, and a picture of a south american farmer working in the heat of day.
But take the pictures in amaizment- amaized that you do think, and breathe, and reason, and FEEL. And for the sake of all that is good and holy please post your pictures somewhere where yahoo can get a hold of them! That way people dont loose sight of the beauty and mistery of this gift of life. Cause im pretty sure the lion is having fun, but missing the point.

From: Foolish

I should have been in bed hours ago. I remember hearing somewhere that spelling many things wrong, and being gramatically incorrect is not respectable. So if they are right I am afraid i do not have the respect of individuals who read my words. And indeed why should they read it if I did not take the time to write it correctly?
I am not sure why I am worried about this now, of all times. 5AM comes way too soon. And people have long sence stopped reading blogs. But here it is. My humble apology for not editing like I should. I am sorry. And to all those I have been agitating by getting into political discussions, I am also sorry. It occours to me I have way too little life experience and or knowladge to be a real asset to any political conversation. I vote the best I can, according to my beliefs, and should stick to that. From now on I will try to.
"Better to hold your toung and be thought a fool than opean your mouth and remove all doubt"

DREADS!!!

Somewhere between Tampa this summer, and deciding not to sell out and get any piercings or tattoos (of which i have none) something outrageous had to be done. I now have dreads. Dreadlocks to be exact, which are basically structured knotts and matts all over my head (i think there are 58 or so. It took 8 hours, the entire first season of Family Guy, and three friends who love me way too much.

Now some of you will congratulate me. Some of you will shake your heads in dissapointment, or maybe just disgust. And the rest of you blog surfers will flip just as quickly away from this page, on to the bigger things in your life- (or your lunch)-compleetly unintrested in anything i have to say. Well here's to apathy!

And like yourselves (those who dont care) I too had nothing interesting to do or say until i spent the better part of sunday nappying up my hair. But it has prooved already to be quite a learning experience

I do like them... alot

Dreads have, in the short 2 days i have had them, have already tought me something. Humans (all of us) are idealistic. We have these preconsieved notions on how things should be- and we run screeming for the hills (or to the closest poor soul) ranting balistically when something or someone fails to live up to our idea of what is right and should be. (this is a gross overstatment for effect...but my uncle's reaction to me was pretty damn close) We all expect things to be a certin way, and get upset when they are not. (and by we i mean me, and my poor little dreadies that did nothing to that grumpy old lady at church)I have already been tagged as a pot head, a delinquint, and an irresponsibal- irrational young lady who needs an attatude adjustment. Ok true, dreads are often affiliated with potheads and rastafarian culture (which by the way is nothing bad or wrong) but having dreads does not make me rasta any more than putting a bumper sticker on my butt makes me a car. But alas i am niether rasta or a pothead.

So to the point, and what i have learned is that we all need to see our ideals for what they are- IDEAls. C.S Lewis said it best "To hell with your standard!" realizing that i am trampeling on others' ideals- i need to be ready to let them trample on mine. Maybe a better understanding of that will help me not get so ticked when i get sneered at. But honestly i think its funny, we all are way too uptight. This happens to be my self expression (sence i am not pierced or tatood- i think dreads are rather counterculture and origional, it has become mundane to be pierced and marked all over...besides hair can be cut)

So there it is, and this is me expressing myself (expressing the fact that my hair can still look cool in matts- and i wanted to see how many peoples' respect for me hinged on a hair style; forcing others to express to me what type of people they are)

And you may still think its gross- ok, but fyi they arnt, I do get to wash them regularly, cause contrary to popular belief you need to keep them clean! in the end its your opinion! so trample away on my expectations- help teach me this lesson. I have a feeling i will enjoy it in the long run.

Blah Blah Blah- and on it goes

So sorry.... i fell off the face of the earth for a while. Sence Dennis came through my internet has been spotty and downright nonexistant most of the time. Blah- but im back, and ok. And as far as the most recent "H- word" to come through, we are all fine, and my good friend who stayed in new orleans is alive and well, and actually is now over here in florida. But i am pulling a girlie- i stayed up all last night cause he needed to get here- and had to stay awake to drive (go figure). So being the friend i am i stayed up and he would call me when he needed to. All night- so i missed a couple of classes today. But the first thing he does when he getts here (after sleeping) is make fun of me for caring so much. He then proceeded to leave to go hang with his guy friends who quite frankly laughed in my face when i told them he was going to stay in New orleans for the storm. (he couldnt get out they wouldnt let him) Well at least he is safe. Guess that teaches me to worry right?

but I have been inundated all day long with repetitive and predictable music, senseless and awkward small talk, and expensive text messages from people I cant decide if I like or not. Maybe I just need to go run, but holy cow! I would almost die to hear something random and interesting from anyone. When the world is so full of beauty and majesty why do so many people settle for the trite and complacent attitudes that seem to eat up all that is good? Or is it the other way around- and all the bad and evil getts magnified and forced down our throats by a "bleeding heart" media. Yeah its all a disaster, and prayer is the best thing to do right now- because there arnt the resources (like gas) to go over and help. And the way it is now, many of the people who need help are shooting at those trying to help them. (is this a product of our society and the media?) So in the meantime what does everyone see? gutt wrenching pain constantly screeming through the tv- and i am just heart sick for them- but how good is it for me to be mindlessly numbing out to pictures of this? (again... me... the product of a society?) There arnt answers- im just asking.